This list is for those of you who use preparation and cunning rather than amateurish brute force.
Congratulations! You have managed to successfully control the situation, there’s no cops, and your thermal drill is grinding away on a vault. It takes roughly five thousand years for the drill to make any progress, so you’ve got time to spend. Just make sure not to kill any civilians. Unless of course it’s a bank job, then you can kill the tellers. Bain gets mad, but honestly who cares about him? Anyway, you and your crew are now left with nothing to do. I know in my crew attention spans are short, so I’ve come up with a list of things you can do while the slowest drill in the universe carves through the vault door with what appears to be a drain snake:
- Move hostages – Put hostages in the dark corner where they’re going to live until someone finds them. This is a productive activity that will prevent passers by from doing something stupid, like calling the cops. Make sure to leave the hostages food and water because by this point it’s unlikely anyone will see them for a while.
- Body bag guards – It’s probable that you and your crew have killed a GenSec guard or two to get to this point. You’ve answered their pagers otherwise you wouldn’t have the opportunity to read this list on account of the bullets flying towards you. However, after answering their pagers, you discover that you have this annoying body just laying on the floor announcing your actions to the world. It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement to bag the bodies and move them to the same dark corner you put the hostages. That way the body won’t be seen by anyone, and the hostages have a gentle reminder of their place in what’s going on. Clear communication is important in every relationship.
- Repair the drill – It’s nice that Bain has someone who is skilled enough to place thermal drills where they’re needed. I’m especially impressed with the drill expertly delivered on the back of a truck in the bank parking lot. But the guy who flies it in on a chopper is okay too. Everyone’s special. Regardless of how it got there, the drill is a piece of junk that breaks down every thirty seconds or so. If one of your crew is good with drills they may have set it up so the stupid thing will turn itself back on occasionally. But most likely someone is going to have to go over and fix it. This task takes only about 5 seconds, but is important to success.
- Break open ATMs – This would be a really fun thing to do. Unfortunately for you, your crew didn’t bring enough ECM jammers. I would also like to mention the possibility of using a saw to open the ATMs, but it’s most likely that the guy who could bring it chose not to because guns are cooler. Also, if you’re being sneaky you might not want to alert everyone to what you’re doing. Your call. I don’t judge.
- Dazzle the hostages – You’re a bank robber. It’s a respectable trade. But deep in your soul lays the heart of a poet, and right now you have the most captive audience ever! I’m sure they’ll love it.
- Destroy everyone’s stuff – You’ve only got so much room in the van, but that won’t stop you from destroying everything these people have. Besides, you only needed a handful of bullets, but you brought so much more!
- Play Charades – It’s the ultimate time waster!
- Knit a sweater – Come on, you’ve always wondered if you could. Now’s the perfect time to learn!
- Call your mother – Your S.O. has been reminding you to do it all week. At least now you won’t have to lie when you say you did it already. Besides, she’s worried about you.
- Catch up on Game of Thrones – Whether you’re reading the books or watching the show, you know you’ve picked a side. You have chosen who you want to keep the Iron Throne. You have plenty of time.
This list is usually enough to occupy my crew and I throughout the slow agony of waiting for the drill. Feel free to add to and change it to suit the needs of your crew.